The process of leaving and letting go is never easy. Sometimes it’s sudden and you don’t see it
coming, and sometimes it’s a long drawn out affair where you continue to fight
the uphill battle of how to make things work.
Currently I am stuck between both of those scenarios. I guess it’s easy to not see the forest for
the trees and when you’re lost in the middle of the trees.
Recently I was asked (along with a friend) to leave a barn
I’ve been at for around seven years (off and on) and it’s come to be like a
home away from home for me and my horses.
I feel like the girls there are my friends. My family of choice and my confidants. We’ve been through a lot together, sick
horses, horses dying, boyfriends, husbands, break-up’s and
reconciliations. For me, being asked to
leave, was a huge slap in my face.
Don’t get me wrong. I
understand the reasoning behind it but it doesn’t make it any easier. After what can only be attributed to a fight
over sand for the arena myself and my good friend received a text asking us to
leave as the owner no longer wishes to maintain the property at a level that
would be suitable to training our horses.
While the blow wasn’t nearly as hard for my friend, I took it pretty
bad.
I have a young horse that now needs to be sold ASAP because
I won’t pay regular board on two. I
worry about my older gelding that is deeply attached to the mare that will
remain behind; though I’m sure she won’t miss him for a hot second. My older gelding is also not the biggest fan
of the ‘big barn’ environment so my concerns are that he’ll start his old bad
behavior of bucking and being wild. I
guess we will see.
They say when a door closes a window opens. I won’t lie and say I won’t mind being able
to just come ride my horse and go home.
I have put in long hours helping at my current barn and I’ve enjoyed it,
though I feel like that is part of the sting of being asked to leave. There is a lot of my blood, sweat and tears
on that property. I do enjoy the thought
of having lighted rings, nice arena sand and someone else to buy my feed for
me. However, it doesn’t lessen the hurt
that comes from being asked to leave somewhere that you felt so included.
So onward and upward for me, my horses and my friend with
hers. I know my young horse will go on
to another home where he will hopefully reach the potential that at my age I
just don’t care to pull out of him.
Meanwhile Chance can go back to being my only man and we can focus on
him jumping some bigger and better courses.
I can focus on my riding and spoiling my big man.
On to the next phase with my remaining #reasonableredhead
