Three years ago today, Bob and I were at the drag races.
Two years ago today, I was laid out on the operating table having what can only be called a life changing surgery. I had a full hysterectomy but thanks to what my friend calls "medical bingo" I had a terrible case and had to have a vertical incision. I was in the hospital for 5 days and lost about 15 pounds.
And because of the medical bingo, when I got out I was thrown into instant (and full) menopause without any support. I was given a variety of natural replacements but nothing was really helping with the hormone loss. I gained a significant amount of weight. My brain was in a constant tail spin. Every day was pretty much a struggle to just keep my sanity together.
To couple with this catastrophic loss, I was promoted at work. For years I had worked to get to where I was promoted to and I was extremely excited. I had my own properties now. I was now in charge. What I wasn't counting on was the incredible amount of stress I had put on me. We had a full lobby renovation, complete with asbestos abatement to do. Several tenant finish-outs. We had almost every single floor of the building under construction. Every day was a struggle to keep tenants happy, money flowing to vendors, issues to be answered and handled on the spot, personnel to manage and another off-site property that required attention. I was stretched to the limit.
I quickly became overwhelmed between everything I had going on inside my body, inside my head and inside my home. Bob was suffering his own loss with the sudden and tragic death of his mother. Needless to say - things weren't going well inside the Hensley/Clarke household.
In July of 2016 things reached their boiling point and I could no longer hold all the pieces together. Bob and I took a break. I couldn't be all things to all people and I couldn't be a good girlfriend anymore. Bob was dealing with his own loss. First he lost his mother, then his girlfriend lost her damned mind.
We had a lot of starts and stops trying to get things back on track. Did I mention I completely gutted my bathroom and renovated it during all of this too? God, what was I thinking? It was the most awful experience too. I had to shower down at the gym every day. For anyone who has ever had menopause, the night sweats are for shit. I had to shower every day so I would wake at 5 am, workout, shower, come home and finish getting ready and then head to work. Anyway, I digress.
As we tried to work things out, we had one final fight where I felt like we were totally done. All of his things were out of my house. I was done. I couldn't fight at work and fight at home and fight myself to try to be sane anymore so something had to go.
We didn't speak for about 2 weeks, which for two people who text each other a lot during the day that felt like forever. This was in October and I knew one thing was looming in front of me that I couldn't attend alone.
NHRA was coming to town.
Now one thing I've always loved to do was to go to the drags or races of any kind. Me and my mom had horses together and that was our thing, but my dad and I had the races. Bob and I had our 'thing' too and NHRA was one of them. I don't know anyone else who wants to hit the drags, but I didn't want to miss it.
So after 2 weeks of silence I got a text from Bob that just said 'let me take you to the drag races.' Well, who can say no to that? As angry as I had been with him, I also didn't want to either miss the drags, or worse, go alone. I agreed.
We attended the drags that day, and I can't tell you who won but I can say I did. It was a turning point for Bob and I. We mended the fences. We got back together. He moved back in and while I can't say we haven't fought since, our relationship has been in a much better place. Sometimes you have to go through some really bad rough patches to get to the better on the other side and we sure have.
I love you baby. You're the best.
And you'll see us together on October 15th at the drags!
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